Laughter is The Best Medicine x)

Here are some jokes that might help lighten up your day. Enjoy :)) Some jokes might be corny for some of you so forgive me for posting such corny things in my precious blog. xD

WARNING: Too much LOLing is dangerous to the health!

credits to: www.quotesbox.blogspot.com

TEACHER: Ano ang pambansang ibon?

BOY: Chicken?

TEACHER: Hindi! Kulay brown ito.

BOY: Fried Chicken!

TEAACHER: Hindi! Mas maliit ito sa chicken.

BOY: Knorr chicken cubes.

TEACHER: Get out!!!

JR: I know the truth Mom!

Mom: Ha? Ito P500, wag ka lang maingay sa Daddy mo ha?

JR: I know the truth Dad!

Dad: Ha? Ito P1,000, wag ka lang maingay sa Mommy mo ha?

JR: (Ok pala ito ah! Subukan ko nga din sa katulong namin) Inday, alam ko na ang katotohanan!

Inday: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ako, anak ko!

After having ***, the girl keeps on touching the ***** of the guy…

Guy: You want more?

Girl: Nope. May namimiss lang kasi ako.

Guy: Sino? Yung ex mo?

Girl: Hindi. May ganito kasi ako before.
 

Boy1: Pare, nagaway kame ng gf ko?
Boy2: Bakit naman?
Boy3: She asked for a gift, sabi nya kahit ano basta may diamond.
Boy2: Yun naman pala eh, ano niregalo mo?
Boy1: Baraha=)

Miss Universe Intro
Gutom ako, guton kayo, gutom tayong lahat.
- Hungary
Olah viola kaserola tinola saranggola arinola ni lola
- Venezuela
Boom kabum, kablam!
- Afghanistan
Malay mo, malay niya, malay nating lahat
- Malaysia
Baha doon, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo
- Bahamas
Hindi sa kin, hindi sayo. Kanino sya?
- Kenya
One way, two way, there’s no other way
- Norway
Sing ka na, sing ka pa, ilabas ang magic sing
- Singapore

Pedro: Hello! May I know hoe long the flight to San Francisco is?
Operator: Just a minute, Sir.
Pedro: Really? Thank you.

Juan: Pare, may plano ako.
Pedro: Ako din may plano, pare.
Juan: Talaga pare? Anong plano mo?
Pedro: Makinig sa plano mo.

Guy1: Pare, kumusta lovelife?
Guy2: Wala, ganun pa rin.
Guy1: Bakit pare? Kayo pa rin?
Guy2: Hindi pare. Ikaw pa rin.

The gf texted her bf, “Mahal, punta ka sa bahay. Walang tao.”
Nagmamadaling umalis si bf. Pagdating sa bahay ng gf, katok siya ng katok. Wala ngang tao.

A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whisky curled up and died.

F: All right son, what did you learned from the show?

S: Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol hindi ka magkakabulati.
  

Sir: Inday, si Sir mo to, nabangga ang kotse ko and I need cash!
Inday: Aru Dugo-Dugo Gang ka no??
Sir: Haha! Si Sir mo talaga to!
Inday: Sira! Si Sir tawag sakin cupcake!

Vanilla.Ice♥